If you ask me!!

I exploit verse as a way of dealing with thoughts as I grew older with them. And at 3.00 am sharp it pops out of nowhere Pretty good time for a confession? It chokes, vomit and sometimes faint. The 3 o'clock IST makes me think about the many times I was silent, to those caring looks of my very own strangers, and the many times I could have punched their noses. The very first time we kicked the vigilant fingers of a well mannered, and the nearby aunt's 'feminist terrorists' hashtag which made us celebrities. My friend once told me he's not ok with his uncle's cuddles, I'm so sorry the UKG brain couldn't think any harder and you little butterfly deserved way better wings. Fourth grader, reading fifth news on prey-hunter-god relation, literally made me sick. Used to pray for the cerebrum to function normally unless your normal seems pretty close to fine, also you know it is never going to reach there. So I take a thought and give it an amnesia, hold on ther...

Your story too is like all stories you think it is so misleading and deceiving, this is someone else’s or a mirage, but nope! it’s solemnly yours eventually, every vague details make sense; Spend hours talking about you to myself and our conversations be like – “No, I don’t want to go through this again” you’ll repeat after me, On every yesterdays you wish you’ve never ended up in love – -in love with your grandmother’s kisses -with the clouds followed your school bus -with the raindrops fell across your umbrella -with the breeze pecked your eyelashes in your first-ever bicycle trip -with the second drop of blood rolled over your thighs -with your reflection of mine -with all residues, you’ve ever been in love without hope or agenda. It was all a game sometimes you’ve to kill what you love, to win the battle of "brain vs heart". And you became sour with people afraid to let someone else close again. Our monologue continues like- “Just one more time, it’s not the first time re...

On the eve of my demise, I woke up in an I don’t understand world. So tranquil as it’s words frozen Pictures too bright for my vision Path so fragile as no-one ever walked over Couldn’t feel any beats or breath intakes My thoughts don’t feel mine anymore, Somewhere in this untold crowd I think I see things, but you nowhere. On the day of my demise, strolling over my regrets and relish found a piece of paper with a single syntax in a language I can never decipher resembling the imposters of being alive and echoes from an unfinished poem written by this coward poet, who don’t know that letting go is better, better than clinging to something and hurting oneself. On the very next day of my demise, I was found guilty, for not being there to wipe my mom’s eyes, and every tears shedded for my reminiscence. Unable to undo any memory I ever created in you On all tomorrows after my demise I’m so sorry for being alive, alive somewhere in you.

Why am I unable to pen a cue? my notes run out of breath, I out of words pages dead and poems lost all those midnight scribbles; curl up and suicide? empty soul and unwritten lines Thoughts plugged my mind it can't respirate and is choked to death there is no moon or tune in my sky  may be the stars died in me and that's how I became darkness, dawdling in this blackhole, unlocking a hundred voids All I could see is me after myself All I could hear is the melancholy in my verses All I remember is things I shouldn't All I could write is this much.. 

I know how to strangle my emotions and to bury them underneath the realm I wrap the corpse and cleared the notions resumed the trip, with a hollow soul at the helm. The 19 year old conscience sometimes spits it out and the dead souls curse me for aborting them haunts me to not let them sprout you can't imagine them existed on my stem. In the end, I'm a cold-blooded murderer who slaughtered all those weeps behind the lashes choked my laughs beneath the lips like a torturer and immersed my Love deep down inside the heart's ashes. 

Something is hampering my mind, Someone is trampling my thoughts, Right now I'm in a trance, my eyeballs are twiddling behind my lashes. Some hard acerbic fluid flows over my face and enters my taste buds. Sky was filled with some ulterior clouds and I never knew that was my ultimatum. I never mind them, of course I don't want to; I neither love nor hate those pallid tears of clouds, but they had incredible care on me and sometimes it was my tranquilizer. Nothing comes in random, neither the tears and no one can control anyone's tears, not even the allmighty can. The skyscraper guardians were shaved off by the wicked hands of dual legged beasts and made them naked, their veins were cutoff.        Until they wailed utterly no one was beware of the impact created by those whooping tears which washed over our egotism. I was in the god's own valley, but nothing shielded me, all my priorities lead me to step behind the Earth and to tug into it.  Right now this tastel...

Leaves wrote elegy for the tender droplet's adieu Stem and roots made condolence for funeral Soil made a wreath of leaves and poured a cry Let me vomit the grief to no elegy or tears. We were 'strangers' and I got 'nothing' to woe Just freezed together and spoke no word Both were afraid to love and being loved  But still your reminiscence pierce my blood. Some told our bond will be a cancer  And the chemo was on progress  You promised me to vaporize together So I'm 'asleep' to commit a tender droplet's SUICIDE.